So I’ve decided that part of my “new chapter” is going to involve dating. It’s not something I’ve really done since I was diagnosed… I’ve felt a bit intimidated by it to be honest. I think figuring out how and when to tell someone about your MS is a bit tricky in this scenario. But, at the same time, I don’t want to let being confused on when and how to share that info hold me back! Being held back is not allowed in this chapter of mine, I’ve decided. I think that choosing when to tell a guy really depends on who they are as a person, and how comfortable I feel with them. That’ll help me decide when the right time is to disclose it. At least I hope it will!
There’s a lot I’m not sure about here. But, I do know that I don’t want to hide my MS from anyone, because I consider myself to be an honest person and it’s just a part of who I am now. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of! Also anyone who isn’t understanding of it, probably isn’t worth my time anyways! Right? Right.
I guess we will just have to see how it goes. Dating in 2014 is confusing enough without having to think about all of that other stuff anyways! Especially living in a big city it can be hard to even meet anyone. People really seem to keep to themselves… To tinder or not to tinder, amirightpeople?!
This weekend I spent a lot of time with my friend, who also has MS, and has had it for quite a while (so is much more of a pro at it then I am!). Spending time with her, and talking about how I’ve been feeling about everything since my latest relapse has really helped me to realize, that I am ready for a new chapter in my life. I’m ready to close the book on the past couple of years since my diagnosis. I’m ready to push myself outside of my comfort zone, and start making changes to achieve the things I’ve been missing in life. Things that I’ve been allowing my MS to hold me back from.
My friend told me, sometimes with MS you just need to do it anyways. There’s no knowing if things are going to be any different, for the better or worse, so sometimes you have to learn to live with whatever you are dealing with at the moment. Sure my legs hurt, and I still don’t have answers on some of my particularly bothersome symptoms, but maybe I never will. And maybe it’s time to try and accept that and move on, and learn to live with it. I’m sure it won’t be easy, and maybe there will be days where I feel like I just want to give up, but something has changed within me, a fire has been lit so to speak and I’m not going to let anything put it out!
To anyone reading this who has been in a similar mindset as me, just know that there is a whole world out there waiting for us, MS or not! I think it’s time that we all carpe-d the diem ;)